| I sit here and stare at the screen and wonder what my life will be like in 10 years. i have a creeping feeling that i will never be able to connect with anyone, that i will feel like I dont belong in any group i join.
Yes, i have only lived 18 years, so i shouldn't be so pessimistic about my approach but i see no other way my life can go. Whatever i do or try, i know there will be space, just unseen, that seperates me from others, that doesnt let me connect on a level higher than basic. Some may say its because i havent meet the right person, or that im not outgoing enough, but i have enough friends, friends that i feel no actual kinmanship with. No actually feeling for my parents or brother either. And i have lost my hope for the future, a happy ending of sorts. And that is what i am confessing, the hope i should have never lost i will probably never regain. |
