| i've become as depressed as ever, and usually it's just like, a couple of hours where i feel really shitty, but then i feel happy again. but right now, i can't feel any reason to be happy. this is hard to explain but recently, i have just been thinking. like theres this amazingly hot guy i saw on television and i was like omg he is so hot i would do anything to be with him. but then i was like, even if there was a guy who looked exactly like him, who was my age, who went to my school and was even in one of my classes, i'd never have a chance with him anyway. i just felt so ugly and that no guy will ever want me. even if i started talking to a really hot guy, all we'd ever be is just friends. and i'd be the girl who has a great personality. never wow, she's hot. i just wonder sometimes what it's like to be absolutely gorgeous, and to have the confidence of a girl like that. my self-esteem used to be really high actually, but now it's hitting an all time low. please help! i think i'm developing a mental disorder. |
