| so i finally screwed up the courage to ask him today. and he said no. and i mean it was in the nicest way possible, but it still tore out something in my chest. and i smiled like it was not a big deal, but it sort of was, to me i mean. its just - i don't know. i guess i couldn't read him after all. i feel like i am dead. and yet i'm still online praying that he'll talk to me and take it back. and i know that it won't happen and its ridiculous, but i can't make myself sign off. |
