Iraqi vs. American Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation Average American Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards Average Iraqi Lines up by the thousands to die for country Average American Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty Average Iraqi Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West Average American Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies Average Iraqi Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise Average American Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die Average Iraqi Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest Average American Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip Average Iraqi Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius Average American Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein - in Political
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered byinvestigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentativelynamed administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomicnumber of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic massof 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves thecontinuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can bedetected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes onereaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normallyoccurred in less than a second.Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at whichtime it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in whichassistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after eachreorganization.Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturallyin the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such asgovernment agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually befound in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level ofconcentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it isallowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratiumcan be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are notpromising. - in Political
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered byinvestigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentativelynamed administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomicnumber of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic massof 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves thecontinuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can bedetected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes onereaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normallyoccurred in less than a second.Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at whichtime it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in whichassistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after eachreorganization.Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturallyin the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such asgovernment agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually befound in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level ofconcentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it isallowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratiumcan be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are notpromising. - in Political