Cute birthday sms... \"Koi hai jo dua karta hai.. apno me mujhe b gina karta hai, bahut khush naseeb samajhte hain khud ko,, door rahkar bhi jab koi yaad kiya karta hai....?\" - in computers

nAirline virus You re in Dallas but your data is in Singapore  - in computers

2 Thoughts that ndecide your Attitude n n What you Think of YOURSELF nWhen You Have NOTHING n n - in computers

Sir Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain n nSTUDENT Mujhe Nahi Pata nSir Shaabash Beta Baith Jao  - in computers

Every little smile can touch somebody s heart nNo one is born happy nBut all of us are born with the ability to create happiness nAlways be happy  - in computers

GODS are also I T Engineers n nBRAHMA nSystem installer n nVISNU nSystem supporter n nSHIV nSystem Programmer n nNAARAD nData transfer n nYAM nDeleter n nMENKA nVirus  - in computers

Girl setting password with Boy-Friend sitting beside her nShe types BRAIN as password nBoy-Friend fell off his chair Laughing Bcoz nLaptop replied TOO SMALL - in computers

Teacher Gave Him Punishment nTo Write 5000 Times n I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class nAnd Submit It Tomorrow n nNext Day He Submitted The Paper Written n n Include nVoid Main n nClrscr Int N nFor N 1 N lt 5000 N nPrintf I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes In Class Getch n nBe A Programmer Think Differently - in computers

Dil agar CPU hota to aapki sabhi yadon ko SAVE Kar sakte nDimag mein agar PRINTER hota to khayallo ka PRINT OUT nikal lete nDhadkan mein agar PEN DRIVE hoti to zindagi ka BACKUP lete nMann mein jo BLUETOOTH hota to baton ko TRANSFER kar lete nAnkhon mein jo WEBCAM hota to tasvir ko RECEIVE kar lete nKash Zindagi bhi ek COMPUTER hoti to use bhi RESTART ker lete nKaaash aisa hota  - in computers

nice - in computers

WinErr 683: Time out error - Operator fell asleep while waiting for the system to complete boot procedure.  - in computers

You think being a computer geek is only half way there.  - in computers

4. Viruses are usually carried, unkown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Windows does that too. - in computers

Emacs acronyms EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift EMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping EMACS: Even a Master of Arts Comes Simpler EMACS: Emacs Manuals Are Cryptic and Surreal EMACS: Energetic Merchants Always Cultivate Sales EMACS: Each Manual's Audience is Completely Stupified EMACS: Emacs Means A Crappy Screen EMACS: Eventually Munches All Computer Storage EMACS: Even My Aunt Crashes the System EMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete Simplicity EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe Alternative Civilizations Survive EMACS: Egregious Managers Actively Court Stallman EMACS: Esoteric Malleability Always Considered Silly EMACS: Emacs Manuals Always Cause Senility EMACS: Easily Maintained with the Assistance of Chemical Solutions EMACS: Edwardian Manifestation of All Colonial Sins EMACS: Extended Macros Are Considered Superfluous EMACS: Every Mode Accelerates Creation of Software EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe All Commands are Simple EMACS: Emacs May Allow Customised Screwups EMACS: Excellent Manuals Are Clearly Suppressed EMACS: Emetic Macros Assault Core and Segmentation EMACS: Embarrassed Manual-Writer Accused of Communist Subversion EMACS: Extensibility and Modifiability Aggravate Confirmed Simpletons EMACS: Emacs May Annihilate Command Structures EMACS: Easily Mangles, Aborts, Crashes and Stupifies EMACS: Extraneous Macros And Commands Stink EMACS: Exceptionally Mediocre Algorithm for Computer Scientists EMACS: EMACS Makes no Allowances Considering its Stiff price EMACS: Equine Mammals Are Considerably Smaller EMACS: Embarrassingly Mundane Advertising Cuts Sales EMACS: Every Moron Assumes CCA is Superior EMACS: Exceptionally Mediocre Autocratic Control System EMACS: EMACS May Alienate Clients and Supporters EMACS: Excavating Mayan Architecture Comes Simpler EMACS: Erasing Minds Allows Complete Submission EMACS: Emacs Makers Are Crazy Sickos EMACS: Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo- Macros Are Completely Slow EMACS: Experience the Mildest Ad Campaign ever Seen EMACS: Emacs Makefiles Annihilate C- Shells EMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete Simplicity EMACS: Emetic Macros Assault Core and Segmentation EMACS: Epileptic MLisp Aggravates Compiler Seizures EMACS: Evenings, Mornings, And a Couple of Saturdays EMACS: Emacs Makes All Computing Simple EMACS: Emacs Masquerades As Comfortable Shell EMACS: Emacs: My Alternative Computer Story EMACS: Emacs Made Almost Completely Screwed EMACS: Each Mail A Continued Surprise EMACS: Every Mode Acknowledges Customized Strokes EMACS: Eating Memory And Cycle-Sucking EMACS: Everyday Material Almost Compiled Successfully EMACS: Elvis Masterminds All Computer Software EMACS: Emacs Makes A Computer Slow  - in computers

11. My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.  - in computers

15. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . - in computers

22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor. - in computers

Microsoft trademarks TM Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol By Vince Sabio HumourNet Communications, Ltd. REDMOND, Wash (UPI) - Software and marketing giant Microsoft Corporation (MSFT) announced today that it has purchased the rights to the well-known "trademark" symbol, formerly denoted as "tm" in most print media. The symbol is commonly used to identify commercial product names that have not yet been registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. "It was a natural," commented John Schexnader, of Microsoft's Ministry of Information. "Several of us were sitting around after a board meeting a few months ago, and we were talking about what we should buy next. We were tossing around the idea of purchasing a country or two in South America, as kind of a follow-up to Sun Microsystems' trademark-infringement claim against The Island Formerly Known As Java, when it occurred to us that there are no countries named 'ActiveX.' We talked about changing the name of 'ActiveX' to 'Chile' or 'Brazil' -- which would also help distance it from all those recently-uncovered security holes -- when someone joked that we'd save a lot of time and effort in the long run if we'd just trademark the trademark symbol." Schexnader continued, "At first, we all just laughed -- but one look at Bill's face, and we knew we'd be on the phone with the Patent and Trademark Office in the morning." Microsoft hasn't wasted any time enforcing the new trademark. According Rue B. Goldberg, an attorney with Microsoft's Ministry of Litigation and Law Enforcement, "Use of the 'tm' symbol will now be restricted to Microsoft and its subsidiaries, like the Catholic Church." But companies wishing to use the '(tm)' symbol will not be left out in the cold; according to Goldberg, Microsoft has developed a new symbol, '(tMS)', to replace the now-restricted '(tm)' symbol. "Anyone will be able to use the new symbol, royalty-free," states Goldberg, "though Microsoft reserves the right to charge for its use in the future." Response to the announcement was varied. Apple Computer CEO Gil Amelio vowed to take the issue to court, stating, "Apple Computer developed the technology for the trademark symbol more than ten years ago," but refused to give any details on the exact nature of the lawsuit. Meanwhile, Times-Mirror Publishing, Ziff-Davis, the L.A. Times, the N.Y. Times, CNN, the Washington Post, Newsweek, and Kathy Lee Gifford all agreed that it was a landmark move. According to William Spangler, Electronics and Pet Food Editor for the Boston Globe, "[Microsoft's] recent acquisition of the trademark symbol will benefit computer users worldwide. It's a technological breakthrough. As always, the rest of the computer industry is just struggling to play catch-up." So, what does the future hold for Microsoft and its latest acquisition? Microsoft Ministry of Information spokeswoman Alice Gilbert says that Microsoft is moving quickly on similar purchases. "Our next [acquisition] will be the 'service mark' symbol. We already have the paperwork in place for it." Gilbert stated that the new symbol would be 'sMS', following the trend set by the new trademark symbol. "It's a natural for us," concluded Gilbert. But apparently, the sky is not the limit at Microsoft. "We'd also looked into acquiring the rights to the 'registered' trademark symbol, but several representatives from the Ministry of Technology determined that doing so would lead to an infinite loop in the trademark registry -- and the only place where we permit infinite loops is in our software. Our standards are very high here at Microsoft." But that fact has not deterred the software and marketing giant. "Instead, we're looking into purchasing the entire Patent and Trademark Office," stated Schexnader. No one at the Patent and Trademark Office could be reached for comment Tuesday. Copyright 1997 by Vincent Sabio, HumourNet Communications Ltd. All Rights Reserved; permission is hereby granted to forward or post "Microsoft Trademarks the Trademark Symbol," provided that the by-line (above) and this copyright statement are included.  - in computers

The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker 10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work. 5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net" 4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments. 3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." 1. You hear him murmur, "Let's  - in computers

9. E Pluribus Modem - in computers