Ager DUNIYA main GIRLS na hon to ka hoga n nGaliya Sunsaan nCollege Veeraan nDunia Pareshan nTanha Insan nNa Janu nNa Jaan nHar Taraf bas n nJAI HANUMAN JAI HANUMAN - in fishing jokes

The most beautiful people nin the world are not those nwit attractive faces or skinny body nbut those who know nhow to respect the beauty of others  - in fishing jokes

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened n nThe turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied I don t know it all happened so fast  - in fishing jokes

Some fishing terms Ten common fishing terms explained Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit. Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook). Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend. Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop. Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard. Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish. School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead. Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard. Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one. Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.  - in fishing jokes

Go on a hiking trip Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." "And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."  - in fishing jokes

Safe to swim here? While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."  - in fishing jokes

Where is my goat? There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be my goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."  - in fishing jokes

Two men camping Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super. At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience. Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!". The other replied, "No, it's not!". The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side. To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by it's clover."  - in fishing jokes

Catching many fish A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, " Only caught one, eh?"  - in fishing jokes

We go bear hunting Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they went home. - in fishing jokes

I have a question A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float? The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father repied. "Don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."  - in fishing jokes

Hunting with a wife A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife." "What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter. "My wife."  - in fishing jokes

Catching the bear Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!" - in fishing jokes

Business and fishing One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. "You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!" The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?" "Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer. "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!" "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said. "And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!" Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?" The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!" The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?"  - in fishing jokes

Fishermen meet When Fishermen Meet "Hiyamac" "Lobuddy" "Binearlong?" "Coplours" "Cetchenny?" "Goddafew" "Kindarthay?" "Bassencarp" "Ennysizetoom?" "Couplapowns" "Hittinhard?" "Sordalike" "Wachoosen?" "Gobbawurms" "Fishanonaboddum?" "Rydononaboddum" "Whatchadrinkin?" "Jugajimbeam" "Igoddago" "Tubad" "Seeyaroun" "Yeahtakideezy" "Guluck"  - in fishing jokes

Catching the fish Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "But why?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."  - in fishing jokes

Write for mail order An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following: "Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check." In a short time he received the following reply: "Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine." - in fishing jokes

Want to be healed? Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, "I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?" "Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years. The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively -- "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm on a disability pension."  - in fishing jokes

Need fishing licenses A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden !! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden. After about a half mile the fella stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Lets see yer fishin license, Boy !!" the Warden gasped. With that, the fella pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.i||3galr3pr0duct|on0fa!h!a!j0k3s "Well, son", said the Game Warden, " You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks !! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"... - in fishing jokes

Fish cost a fortune Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" - in fishing jokes