I just went with my mom to my university health center to get tested for mono. I'm always really tired because of my workload and lack of sleep, so my mom thought I might have mono. The nurse asked me a zillion questions about allergies and whatever, and when they came to the sexual history part my mom left the room and everything, but I still lied about having had oral sex. My mom doesn't know I am dating anyone, because she would disapprove of him. I don't know, the nurse asked "are you sexually active?" and I said "yes" automatically, and then she was like "what kind, anal, oral, vaginal?" etc. and I got all confused and said "well no none of those" and she was like "well is there any exchange of fluids" etc. and I went "uhh I don't think so" I was so uncomfortable. And then she gave me the whole "don't be pressured" boundaries etc. speech, which always makes me think maybe I'm being pressured even when I'm not. Ugh I just never thought it would come to this, with my mom and lying and people wanting to know whether they should test for hepatitis and ugh. it made me feel really dirty and vulnerable and ashamed and stupid and naive. I guess it was really the STD part that shook me up, even though I know I don't have any (I'm a virgin and he got tested before we did anything). I have kinda mixed feelings about admitting I've had oral sex, and it's not my favorite but I don't mind it. but I don't think that part irked me so much. I guess it just made me think about how I used to assume that the first time I'd have sex would be a stable and happy time in my life, and in reality how unstable and often miserable I've been this year. I am very confused within myself. but maybe this helped. Thanks for reading. Confess ID: uewjltyn        Posted On: 26-Nov-2008