Love
So what are you in the mood for? Candle-lit dinners with the fireplace roaring in the background? Or possibly a long, sweaty hike through the forest? Trust me, mood is important on dates. We can break mood down into four groups:
Playful - Ahhh... remember the good ol’ days? So carefree and silly, without a care in the world. If you're looking for that date where you'll run around, let all of the blood rush to your head, and generally just laugh until your stomach aches, this is the date for you. On these dates, you'll get to be a kid again, or at least do some quirky activities. And you’ll see a not-so-serious side to your date (and vice versa).
Romantic - A wonderful, quiet evening shared between the two of you. These dates will certainly win the heart of your date.
Adventurous - These dates will have you exploring new things, traveling to interesting places, or just doing all of those things you said you'd never do. Take a risk and try something new, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it.
Serious - This kind of dating is not as light hearted as some others. On these dates you'll have time to ponder all of life's mysteries, if that's really what you want to do. Or you could go to a quiet cafe and get to know your sweetie better
Meet As Friends
When it comes time to meet your online match in person, meet as friends. Don’t go to your first meeting with the idea in your mind that she is The One or might be The One. That puts way too much pressure on your first meeting.
Meet At An Agreed Place
When your online match has decided that she is ready to meet you, let her pick the place for your first meeting. This allows her to choose a place where she will feel comfortable. She may ask for some guidance and making a few suggestions is fine. You might also want to give her a few no-go places if you don’t enjoy a particular type of food, but you should try to be flexible. Unless one of you is driving a long distance, I would try to make the first meeting fairly short. Meeting for lunch, coffee or dessert all work well since none implies huge expectations.
Dress Casual
I would suggest you discuss with your online match dressing casual for your first meeting. I think that helps everyone to keep their expectations in check and promotes a friendly, comfortable environment to explore the possibilities for romance. Your focus should be on one another, not the clothes that you each are wearing.
Have Fun
When you finally meet your online match, relax, be yourself and have a good time. You will look your best with a smile on your face.
Send An E-Mail After Your First Meeting
If you had a successful first meeting, before you go to bed, send her a short e-mail saying that you enjoyed meeting her in person. It is a nice way to let her know that you are interested and it is the best way to help move the relationship forward.
Transitioning To A Real World Relationship
Meeting your online match for the first time is a big step in transitioning you from an online/phone relationship to one in the real world. It still may be awhile before your online match feels comfortable enough to give you her phone number so that you can call or her address so you can pick her up for a date. That will come with time, try to be patient and understanding. Patience might get you somewhere, impatience won’t get you anywhere.
Every one knows about "The Big Three". These are the normal, safe dates that will cause no waves. They aren't very creative, but they are universally accepted:
A Movie - Inviting someone to a movie is definitely safe. It is probably the #1 first date. You can go to a first-run film or a 99¢ movie. One good way to make it a little interesting is to let your date choose the film, or put a bunch of movie names in a hat and pick one at random when you get together. You might also check out the "Alternative" movie scene, especially if you live in a good-size city. Most cities have a small theater that plays foreign or limited-run films. Local museums may also have off-the-wall films. A museum in our area, for example, plays movies outside in the summer and people bring picnics and blankets to watch the films. They also have an animation festival every year that is lots of fun.
A nice dinner - Another classic. As mentioned above, dinner out means that you are going to have to think of something to talk about for an hour or two. Sometimes that can be hard, especially on the first date. One way to lessen that problem is to go on a double date.
A Dance or a game - High schools are always having dances and football games, so you can invite your date to one of these. It's a good, safe bet.
What Girls Really Look For In Guys...
According to an American survey, the most important qualities that a boy must have for a girl to go out with him are (in this order):
Intelligence.
Good looks and body, but not necessarily handsome.
A good conversationalist = "easy to talk to."
Sincere and honest; "not just out for sex."
Confident, but not conceited.
Sense of humor - fun to be with.
"Well groomed, doesn't take drugs or drink alcohol to excess."
Romantic and affectionate.
Popular at school.
Gentleness.
What Guys Really Look For In Girls...
From the same survey, boys were asked, "What are the most important qualities that a girl must have for you to want to go out with her?" Here were their top ten answers:
Good looks and a good body, but not necessarily stunning -- "and if she has an awful personality, I won't ask her out again."
Friendliness.
Intelligence.
A sense of humor.
Honest; "doesn't play head-games or tease."
Similar interests and values.
"She has to be able to talk to me."
Sexually honest; "I wouldn't like her to be a prude, but I don't want her to have been out with a lot of other boys."
Outgoing, not shy.
Mature; "I'd like her to have a serious side."
If your first date comes from online dating it is much better to think about exploring prospects for a long-term relationship only after at least dating once since online dating gives you a larger pool of candidates, . Yes, people these days are falling in love through email, instant messaging, and phone conversations, but I cannot emphasize enough the value of sizing up someone in person before you do anything more substantive.
First Date Important Rule: It is important that you exercise some precaution on the first date. So I would strongly warn you against visiting someone at home. For the same reason, it is better not to invite someone over to your home. A public place is strongly recommended where you can get to chat a little bit without the pressure of staying too long or the need to be romantic. So stay away from dates that require lot of planning (e.g. movies, museums, public parks, etc.) or force you to stay at least for a definite period of time (e.g. meal in a fancy restaurant). I think a café attached to a bookstore is the best alternative though if you want to make it more fun, a bar is a good alternative. Once you finish your coffee or drink, you can simply leave if things do not go very well. In both cases, there is rarely any pressure to leave after you finish your beverage; so it is easy to stay longer if you are having a good time.
Start listening to men's body language and never again be fooled by a master of one night stands. Never again miss the cues of good guy telling you that he’s interested, and no more guessing whether or not you should expect his call.[br /]
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During a conversation, it is a well known fact that the majority of communication is conveyed by body language, not the words that are said. Paying attention to where a man’s eyes move while he talks to you, which way his body leans or his foot points, what he does with his hands, and how he tilts his head can tell you more about how he feels about you than he says. Once you’ve mastered the dialect, you can be sure whether a guy is worth your time as soon as you meet him![br /]
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[b]Signs he is attracted to you:[/b][br /]
His eyes move in a triangular shape (eye to eye to bridge of nose). As he becomes more attracted to you, experts say that his triangular glances will continue from your eyes to other parts of your body. You are probably used to noticing when a guy is checking you out, but next time, see if his glances are in a triangular shape and you will know if he is really attracted to you or he’s just scanning the room for a nice pair of breasts!
You see him tilt his head away from you like a bashful child. Women do this as well, so if you can remember back to the last time you were talking to a man you were attracted to, you’ll remember doing this.[br /]
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He glances at you out the corner of his eye. You might get this from across the room and that’s good, but the best sign is when you are near him and he tilts his head away from you to give you the sideways glance. If the feeling is mutual, you’ll catch the sparkle in his eye right off the bat.[br /]
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You catch him smiling suddenly. An outburst of smiling means that he’s overflowing with excitement. He may try to hide it and that would be even more of a tell-all.[br /]
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You see a sign that his tactile senses become aroused (it’s not what you’re thinking). You might notice him rubbing his jaw or forehead, something he would do unconsciously as a response to his heightened sense of touch. You might be able to tell by how welcoming his reaction is to your touch, so if you are feeling extremely flirty, go ahead and find a reason to reach out for a touch test.[br /]
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His eyes linger on your lips. You can bet he’s imagining kissing you![br /]
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He uses big arm gestures in order to get and keep your attention. Not every guy that is attracted to you is going to move his arms about wildly, but if any of them do, you can take it as a good sign.[br /]
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He leans back against a wall or in his seat, maybe even putting his hands behind his head. As weird as this sounds, it’s one way a man subconsciously and animalistically attract his mate, like an ape showing off his masculine physique![br /]
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[b]Signs he’s into you:[/b][br /]
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He tilts his head down. Some experts say that this sign has many possible meanings. It could be a sign that he’s shy, uncomfortable or lying. But, he could be showing you his more vulnerable and tender side. He will tilt his head down in effort to quickly collect himself, to save face when he’s feeling too vulnerable. Look for other signs in conjunction with the head tilt to be sure which sentiment it is.[br /]
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He looks down at his feet with a bit of nervousness. Looking down for too long might suggest a low self-esteem, guilt or disinterest in you, but a little is a good sign. If he looks up at you with a smile and a wrinkled forehead, you can be sure he’s definitely interested in you.[br /]
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He sits on his hands shyly like a little boy might do. It probably means that he’s a little nervous around you (in a good way) and therefore vulnerable. Sitting on his hands makes him a bit “smaller†and therefore less likely to be made a fool. It could also mean that he’s comfortable around you (two opposite possible meanings, go figure, but either way, it’s a good sign) and he doesn’t have any intentions of going anywhere.[br /]
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You notice that he tends to separate himself from the group he’s in effort to get you to notice him. A shy guy may opt out of this, but an outgoing one will be sure to step away from the crowd.
He finds a way to touch your hand. Not only does this show he's into you, but it shows that he respects physical boundaries. If he finds a way to touch your leg or your tummy or even your shoulder the first day you meet him, you can expect him to push your boundaries even more the next time.[br /]
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He lifts his shoulders in a sort of childlike manner. That is a sign that he’s excited and a little nervous (he’s got a crush on you).
Likewise, if he sits or stands with his toes pointed in (unless his normal walking position is pigeon toed), you can bet he’s liking you a lot.[br /]
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He extends his hand to you with his palm up. Don Juan and Casanova were experts at the open handed invitation. Women can’t help but respond with expectancy. This must be an innate mating ritual unique to the human race.[br /]
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[b]Signs he’s interested in what you are saying:[/b][br /]
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He sits with both feet on the ground. Crossing his legs isn’t a bad sign, but his feet flat on the ground is a good indicator that you have his undivided attention.[br /]
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If he’s sitting down, he has one leg crossed over the other knee, and his foot is pointed toward you. A foot pointing away from you might suggest he’s keeping his options open.[br /]
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He mimics or mirrors your body language and tone of voice. Man or woman, old or young, this is something people do when they are truly interested in a conversation.[br /]
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He leans toward you, creating an intimate space. Everybody does it, sometimes knowingly, sometimes not. It is a way to separate your conversation from everything else around you and it won’t happen if they are bored with your conversation.[br /]
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So what are you in the mood for? Candle-lit dinners with the fireplace roaring in the background? Or possibly a long, sweaty hike through the forest? Trust me, mood is important on dates. We can break mood down into four groups: Playful - Ahhh... remember the good ol� days? So carefree and silly, without a care in the world. If you're looking for that date where you'll run around, let all of the blood rush to your head, and generally just laugh until your stomach aches, this is the date for you. On these dates, you'll get to be a kid again, or at least do some quirky activities. And you�ll see a not-so-serious side to your date (and vice versa). Romantic - A wonderful, quiet evening shared between the two of you. These dates will certainly win the heart of your date. Adventurous - These dates will have you exploring new things, traveling to interesting places, or just doing all of those things you said you'd never do. Take a risk and try something new, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it. Serious - This kind of dating is not as light hearted as some others. On these dates you'll have time to ponder all of life's mysteries, if that's really what you want to do. Or you could go to a quiet cafe and get to know your sweetie better
